For Lead222 Blog

Healthy Families.


Formal ministry degrees and a 20+ year youth ministry career have not fully prepared me for fatherhood. That’s a bit disconcerting, because my wife and I have 4 kids!
However, if we are going to be healthy ministers and leaders, we must first be healthy spouses and parents. Sometimes, it’s a messy process.  Though I can often see opportunities to serve and be with my family, I can just as easily seek to escape the drama by hiding out  in “formal ministry mode.”  You may have the same tendency.

It takes our direct focus to be physically, emotionally, and spiritually present with our families.  Yet, it’s necessary in order to love and serve them in a Christlike manner.  Usually this involves intentional time away from our offices and smartphones.  Look at 1 Timothy 3 and consider how you reflect verse 4 in particular with managing your own household well.  I’m not going to dig into all of the implications of this, but one simple conclusion can be: To be “in” your family, you must often be “with” your family. This allows you to be in the mix when things are going smooth, and when things are messy. If you can’t do it at home, your not going to be successful doing it for a ministry.

Speaking of messy, one of my teenage sons recently threw a loud tantrum after being slightly injured during a church sponsored activity.  He acted inappropriately, and it embarrassed me.  I was initially tempted to overreact and punish him harshly.
Yet as his father, I need a higher goal of changing his heart, not just his behavior. This is time consuming, tiring, and once again, messy!  But to achieve it, we need to have times together where I’m fully present.  Thus, I’m praying not only for God to be moving in his heart, but also in mine.  We want a healthy family, but we need to be seeking that for His glory.



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